We all know someone who plays both sides. Someone who’s trying to be friends with everyone they meet, even when it seems disingenuous.
But there’s a reason why trying to be friends with everyone seems so insincere. It’s because a friend to all is a friend to none.
People have unique, and largely varying personalities. Naturally, this means that we will like some people, while we will dislike other folks because our values and interests don’t match with one another.
Let me explain why a friend to everyone is a friend to no one.
Everyone is different
Since people have different personalities, we are all drawn to those individuals who possess certain traits we deem attractive while we find others who display certain traits we don’t want repulsive, or at the very least dislike.
This means that we can’t be friends with everyone we meet. And if we try to be friends with everyone we meet, then that means we’re being insincere and are lying to some of them. Remember that a person playing both sides is an enemy too. Because a friend to everyone is a friend to no one.
We all have our values that we find important. We rank things in importance based on the value judgments we make about everything that’s going on in our lives.
Logically, this can only mean that people who exhibit certain traits and values that don’t align with ours won’t vibe with us. They obviously won’t be our friends.
That’s not bad or anything to be ashamed of, either. Because it doesn’t mean that we hate those people. Just that we don’t have the desire to be friends with them.
Not enough time to provide quality
As Aristotle and Taylor Swift have said, a friend to all is a friend to none. Because if you have too many friends, then the quality of all of your friendships will suffer.
You won’t be able to supply the required love, care, and attention that are all necessary to create and sustain long-lasting good friendships.
We don’t love everyone equally
Ultimately, we don’t truly love everyone equally if we’re being honest with ourselves.
We humans constantly make value judgments about everyone, and everything we do to figure out what’s most important to us, and consequently, what’s worth pursuing.
Unsurprisingly, we do the same with our friends, trying to determine who’s worthy of our attention, and love. I would say that it’s only fitting, because those who care the most for us, are the most worthy of getting our valuable love and time in return.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
What does, “a friend to all is a friend to none” mean?
A friend to all is a friend to none means that if someone is a friend to everyone they know, then that means they aren’t anyone’s friend since it’s impossible to like everyone. That’s because everyone’s personality is unique and so wildly different.
When you’re true and honest to yourself and what you stand for, then you will like some people, and dislike some people. Just as some people are going to like you for who you are, and some people will dislike you for who you truly are.
People are wise to remember that a person playing both sides is an enemy too.
What is a friend to everybody?
A friend to everybody is a friend to no one since it’s impossible to like everyone we meet.
Everyone has a unique personality, and this means that we will enjoy the company of some, while we will dislike the fellowship of others.
Thus, being friends with everyone conveys that we’re being disingenuous, and lying to others.
A friend to all is a friend to none origin
Let me explain who said a friend to all is a friend to none the first time. Or at least who we suspect it to be based on history.
The quote, “A friend to all is a friend to none” possibly first originated and was popularized by the famous philosopher Aristotle.
However, it is possible that it was said before him, but just wasn’t written, or passed down to the later generations.
What did Aristotle mean by a friend to all?
Where does Aristotle say a friend to all is a friend to none?
Aristotle says a friend to all is a friend to none in his ninth book, called The Nicomachean Ethics.
In chapter 10, pages 1170-1171, he studies and examines the existence and boundaries of friendship.
A friend to all is a friend to none example
Let me give you an example of why a friend to all is a friend to none.
Let’s say you have a friend who’s constantly trying to be friends with everyone they meet, regardless of their vibe, and align with his values and ethics.
To make things more clear, let’s say that person tries to make friends with generous kind people, but also with rude people who bully others all the while being extremely selfish, and only looking out for themselves.
This means that our friend in question is being dishonest to himself, but also to others, since he’s basically lying. It’s impossible to be friends with everyone out there because each individual is so unique, and all of us have their specific personalities.
So now the question becomes, how can you fully trust someone who can’t even be true to themselves? The answer? You can’t. Or better, you shouldn’t.
A friend to all is a friend to none synonym
Closely related synonyms are:
- If you’re a friend to everybody, you’re an enemy to yourself
- A man that is a friend to everyone is an enemy to himself
What does, “if you’re a friend of everybody, you’re an enemy to yourself” mean?
A man who is a friend to everyone is an enemy to himself, which means that it’s not possible to be friends with everyone out there since we all have our personalities. Thus, it’s impossible that each character is compatible with ours.
If we do decide to be friends with everyone, then we’re an enemy to ourselves since we’re dishonest, lying, and torturing ourselves by trying to be someone we’re not. And trying to pose as someone/something you’re not will inevitably cause you great psychological pain.
That’s why a man that is a friend to everyone is an enemy to himself first and foremost, and a friend to none second.
Conclusion
Be wary of someone who’s trying to be friends with everyone they meet, since a friend to all is a friend to none.
Not only that, but a person playing both sides is an enemy too. It means they’re being disingenuous, which signifies they’re liars and deceitful individuals. This imparts that they can’t be trusted, and it’s even possible that they’re trying to manipulate you for their gain.
Call to action
Learn to stay true to yourself. Make sure that your actions align with your words. Always practice what you preach to yourself to gain the respect of others.
Don’t try to be friends with everyone you meet since that’s impossible, and not desirable either since we all have varying personalities and values.
If you stay true to yourself, and what you stand for, then the right people will come, while the wrong people will walk out of your life. Of course, always attempt to improve yourself, since nobody is perfect.
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