Why the loudest person in the room is the weakest most of the time


Kevin Mangelschots

We all know someone who’s excessively loud and brash, no matter what room they’re in. But like they say, barking dogs seldom bite.

Let me explain why the loudest person in the room is the weakest most of the time.


is the loudest person the most insecure?

The loudest person in the room is typically the most insecure one.

If someone is so excessively loud that it deviates a significant amount from the norm, then it’s usually for one of the two following reasons:

  • Being loud because of excessively low confidence


    Image of a woman showing signs of insecurity while looking afraid.

    It could be that someone is being loud and brash to a fault because they are trying to hide their low self-esteem.

    That’s precisely why the loudest person in the room is usually the weakest.

    They talk so much to compensate for their insecurity. By doing so, they try to give off the impression that they are high in social status to other people.

    In reality, they’re trying to convince other people (and themselves) that the loudest person in the room is someone of value. Be it because they’re strong, rich, or smart.

    It is proven that people act differently to those they deem superior, or have earned their respect. This is exactly what the unconfident individual is trying to accomplish by behaving in a loud, confident manner.

  • Being loud because of overly high confidence

    A man in a suit looking arrogant while smoking a cigarette.

    On the flip side, some people are obnoxiously loud because they have an excessively high self-esteem, deeming themselves superior to their peers.

    In this particular case, they act the way they do because they really do believe that they are superior to the other people surrounding them.

    This superiority complex can manifest itself on many levels like feeling stronger, smarter, richer, or even worse, all of the above combined.

    Of course, being better than someone at one or multiple skills doesn’t give you the right to talk down to other people, nor to be a loudmouth. Because there’s a large probability that they are better at some other skills than you are.

    And would you like it if someone was being rude to you just because they are better at something than you are?

    Make sure the person who’s being excessively loud doesn’t have a hearing impairment. Because it could be that they are just being loud because they don’t actually hear and notice how loud they are talking.

How to stop being obnoxiously loud and brash

Goal, plan, action text on light box on desk table in home office. Business motivation or inspiration, performance of human concepts ideas.

Perhaps this text resonates with you, and maybe you even realized that you might be one of those loud and obnoxiously brash people sometimes.

If you do happen to be someone who acts like this from time to time, then don’t despair. There are ways to tackle these problems by employing the following effective solutions.

Improve your confidence

If you are loud because you have low self-esteem, then the goal is quite obviously to improve your confidence to healthy levels.

Your level of confidence is basically determined by your personality traits and how good you are at the given task/skill. Personality traits are inherent, though you can learn to shift the median a bit when needed.

What is under your control however, and what you can work on, is how good you are at the skill at hand.

Let’s say you’re insecure because your social skills aren’t up to par, then the solution isn’t to be excessively loud trying to look and sound confident. Rather, you should learn and practice your social skills by talking to other people and by putting yourself out there.

Learn social skills

A group of friends hugging on the beach.

You should learn the appropriate social skills by learning from other confident individuals who are great communicators and through trial and error.

While being loud may be beneficial in the short-term, it won’t be in the long-term. So you’re better off learning how to connect with others which will be invaluable and suit you well throughout your whole lifetime.

Don’t compare yourself to others

The goal is to improve and better yourself without comparing yourself to other people.

Refraining from comparing yourself to others will prevent you from developing an inferiority, or superiority complex. These usually come into existence as a result from comparing yourself with other individuals who are either more skilled, or less skilled than you are.

Humble yourself

The quote, “humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less” by C.S. Lewis written in white letters in a background.

If you are loudmouthed because you have an excessively high sense of self-worth, then the goal is to learn some humility.

There is always someone better at the skills or values you excel at, even if they are not in your immediate vicinity. Surrounding yourself with peers who are better at certain skills than you will also help to keep you humble, and grounded in reality.

This humility in turn allows you to improve and better yourself without comparing yourself too much with others.

Learn from others by listening

It’s in your own best interest to seek out other people who are also proficient at the skills you’re trying to improve since you can learn from them.

That’s why you should employ active listening skills in order to learn the most from those around us.

You should aim to be near the top at a given skill in the group, but not the best, since it’s hard to learn from that group if you’re already the pinnacle at that given ability.

Frequently asked questions (FAQ)

What does, “the loudest person in the room is the weakest” mean?

The loudest person in the room is the weakest means that being excessively vocal is more than likely a defense mechanism to conceal our insecurities and weaknesses.

That’s why they’re overly vocal to gain attention and validation due to their low self-worth.

Someone who is confident and capable doesn’t need to show off to garner attention, nor do they need others to validate their existence. They’re perfectly comfortable with who they are, and trust their abilities.

That’s because confidence is silent, while insecurities are loud.

Who said the loudest person in the room is the weakest?

Denzel Washington with a hat looking through a mirror.

Denzel Washington said, “the loudest one in the room is the weakest one” in the movie, American Gangster.

He used said phrasing to state how he had many issues when he was being overly loud, and few concerns when he wasn’t showboating.

Why are the loudest people the most insecure?

The loudest person in the room is the most insecure one most of the time, since they’re being excessively brash to hide their insecurities.

They typically crave attention in order to validate their worth due to their low self-esteem. And being overly vocal typically puts them in the spotlight they so desire and desperately “need.”

Do insecure people talk a lot?

An illustration about a guy sitting in a chair while talking a lot.
Insecure people either talk a lot, or very little in most instances.
That’s because insecure folks are self-focused instead of paying attention to their environment.
Since they’re so internally centered, they typically miss many social cues from other people.

Do loud people know they are loud?

Illustration of a man scratching their head while holding a yellow question mark.
Whether loud people know they are loud or not mostly depends on why they’re being so roaring.
If they’re doing so to intentionally hide their insecurities, or to garner attention, then they are aware of the fact that they’re so vocal to use it as a means to an end.

But there are also instances where the person is totally oblivious to the fact they’re being exceedingly brash. Think of people who are very extroverted, or those of us who aren’t worried at all about the delivery of our message.

Final note

Image of the word, “conclusions” written on a black backboard with white chalk.

The loudest voice in the room is usually the weakest. At least most of the time.

Instead of trying to be the loudest person in the room out of fake bravado, build up your self-confidence so that you can be your true self without feeling ashamed, afraid, or guilty.