Every person is different

What qualities and traits another person regards as important and valuable might not be the same for you. Thus, other people’s subjective perceived value judgments over you should hold little, to no influence at all.

For example, some people value harmony first and foremost. And if you happen to be a disagreeable person and, thus, naturally engage in more conflicts than those around you because you feel there’s something essential to be said, then individuals prizing harmony might dislike you for it. That’s not a given, of course, as some people are extremely open-minded and tolerant of different perspectives.

But does this mean that just because you are disagreeable and are more likely to engage in conflict that you are worth less than agreeable people valuing harmony? NO. It just means that some people who value a certain trait or skill will be more inclined to think more highly of individuals possessing these same abilities or attributes.

Every person has their strengths and weaknesses

“If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it’s stupid.”

This quote hits the nail right on its head. Everyone has their specific talents. And just because someone else has different gifts than you, or because it’s easier to see the natural ability in other people rather than in yourself, doesn’t make them any better than you.

Instead, the only person you should be comparing yourself to is yourself. Try to become a little better each day, and you’re well on your way to becoming the best possible version of yourself.

You can’t be liked by everyone

It’s impossible to be liked by everyone out there. Even if you tried to please all people in existence, you would still have haters based on the simple fact that you are trying to be a people pleaser.

It’s important to learn how to stop being a people pleaser early on in life because you can only meet the right folks if you know what you stand for.

The positive effect of other people’s positive judgment regarding our self-worth is fleeting compared to our own

It certainly feels good when our peers validate our sense of self-worth by showing their appreciation and love.

And while support from our close ones is certainly significant, an over-reliance on other people’s positive opinions for determining your self-esteem is not recommended as it is fleeting, and might even be prone to change.

However, establishing a more optimistic self-image due to working on our imperfections while simultaneously expanding our perks will last a lifetime. Furthermore, it is something everyone can do and rely on when the going gets tough. And make no mistake, sooner or later, things will get difficult.

Other people might lie to you

Other people shouldn’t determine your self-worth, since they might lie to you.

I’m not saying that everyone you meet or know will lie to you, at least not the people who are close to you, hopefully. But there are typically plenty of reasons why those around you might lie to you. A hidden agenda and personal benefit are among them.

Jealousy, hate, envy, Taking advantage of you, … The list goes on and on. The causes why others could lie to us are endless. Yet, the long-term effects of lying are devastating for the person exhibiting this toxic behavior, as well as for the individual who’s being lied to.

You give away your control and power

It has been proven that a sense of independence and capability are two key pieces for one’s sense of well-being.

Basing your self-regard on what others think about you takes away your power and sense of control over your own life, while simultaneously allowing other people to manipulate your existence by pulling the strings.

You know yourself the best

Those close to you might know you pretty well. But since a lot of our thoughts, feelings, and thus, our deepest secrets remain hidden from everyone but ourselves, there’s nobody out there who has the potential to know you as well as yourself. Granted, that is if you can be introspective and self-critical.

Others are judging you, and making decisions based on the objective and most certainly the subjective information they’ve been given access to. But they can never have as much data available as the person living with their feelings and thoughts for an entire lifetime.

It’s your life, live it the way you want to

Nobody has the right to control and decide how you should live your life. And if they think they do, then that’s an extremely arrogant claim to make.

Time is precious, so don’t waste your time trying to please others by living according to their rules and values. You should live it the way you want to since everyone is unique, and that means there’s no single best way of living.