Why most people feel indifferent about us


Kevin Mangelschots

Let me explain why most people feel indifferent about us.

Feelings of indifference are normal and might at times even be beneficial to our survival. It takes time and effort to care about things. And we only have a limited amount of energy at our disposal.

Why do most people feel indifferent about other people

The word “why” written multiple times on a blue background with question marks surrounding it.

Feeling neutral about someone is common and even normal when we’ve got no emotional connection with said people. I would argue that I feel neutral about most people I meet. That doesn’t mean I dislike them, on the contrary, but I just don’t know them personally, and so I’ve got no emotional bonding with those people.

So in short, feeling indifferent about other people often times is because we’ve got no emotional connection with them.

It’s much better than wishing bad things upon others. People want to see you fail sometimes. And there are people out there actively trying to make other people’s lives a living hell just because they themselves are feeling miserable. Needless to say, this isn’t particularly helpful behavior for others or society as a whole.

Frequently asked questions (FAQ)

What does feeling indifferent and feeling neutral mean?

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Feeling indifferent, or feeling neutral, both mean having no specific interest or feeling in something. It means you are unconcerned about that given thing.

Important to note is that feelings of indifference are neither good nor bad. Sometimes, it’s appropriate and beneficial, while at other times it’s considered unbefitting and negative.

Feeling indifferent and feeling neutral can be considered synonyms of each other.

Why do some people want to see you fail?

The sentence “willing to fail”, written in blue on a piece of paper

Like already briefly touched upon in my previous point, some people want to see you fail. And that’s one of the things that’s wrong with society today.


Because they are feeling miserable themselves. And instead of working on those feeling and trying to better their own lives, they try to inflict as much misery and harm on other people. That’s why it is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

It’s certainly easier than having to admit to yourself and others that you’ve got some things to figure out and improve on. Not to mention, improving yourself takes time and requires hard work. Something not everybody is prepared to do.

Again, I feel neutral about a lot of people I don’t know or haven’t properly met. Because I don’t know them personally, have no personal and emotional connection with them and also, I’ve got to admit, because my time and attention is limited, and I don’t want to invest my precious time in everyone.

Still, feelings of indifference are better than people who want to see you fail and are actively pursuing said quest.

Why feelings of indifference can be positive

Image of a black and white ghost with the word “indifference” in the middle.

Feelings of indifference can be positive when we can’t fix an issue, for example.

When we can’t solve a problem, we have to change to emotional based coping. This means we’ll have to learn to let go of the things we can’t change. Learning to let go of the things we can’t change, hopefully till the point of indifference, can be a positive thing in those cases.

And again, your time, attention, and energy are valuable commodities and should be treated as such. It just isn’t sustainable to form a personal and emotional bond with everyone and to care about everything and everyone.

Good and bad are subjective and depend on the value judgments we make. As such, we must, at least at times, learn to become indifferent about some things. Often and preferably about the things we can’t change in order to live a happier and more fulfilling life.

How to handle people who want to see you fail

The quote, “make sure you don't start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don't value you. Know your worth even if they don't” written in black letters on a brown background.

Handling people who want to see you fail is easy in theory, but can be hard to exercise in reality.

The easy and sensible thing to do is to cut them out of your life. However, this can become particularly hard if you’ve got a deep personal and emotional connection with said people and if you’ve known them for a long time. When you know someone for a long time, you’ve created a certain, often positive image of said person in your mind.

Realizing that the person you’ve previously loved and adored wishes to see you fail is painful because it differs from the image that you have imagined all this time.

Yet, nothing good can come from keeping this kind of people in your life. Unfortunately, some people want to see you fail. There’s simply no getting around it.


Image of a hand holding a card with the word “conclusions” written in blue.

If you feel indifferent about some things or people, then don’t worry, it’s completely normal in my book.

This can even be an advantage at times because your time, attention, and ability to form an emotional, personal connection with others requires energy and thus, is a limited and valuable commodity.

However, if you have feelings of indifference about everyone and everything going on in your life, then this means that something more is going on. Feeling indifferent about everything is not normal anymore and sounds like a possible sign of depression.