Why men are made, not born


Kevin Mangelschots

In life, people have to develop themselves to become competent, successful, and content. Even those with the most natural talents and potential will have to work hard to become truly competent. Everything is earned, not given.

That’s exactly why men are made, not born. Parents, teachers, and other people we look up to for guidance when we are young are important to steer and educate us in life. It can be said that men are what their mothers made them since they have such a large impact on their children.

Image of the quote, “tough people are not born. They're made when there's no one there to dry their tears” written in white letters on a blue background.

Men are made, not born because a man’s most valuable commodity is competence, rather than his looks.

A man’s inherent value from birth isn’t that high

This means that a man’s inherent value isn’t that high, since competence is something that needs to be developed and is not something we’re born with.

Nevertheless, intelligence is something we’re by and large born with, and that helps to develop competence at a faster rate, and to a higher degree.

But the fact remains that competence needs to be developed. And even the smartest of men had to put in the time and effort to learn and get practical experience to become a capable, responsible individual.

Men need to become competent to turn valuable

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A man needs to become competent in a large variety of areas in life in order to become successful in life, and attractive to other women. Ideally, men become high earners, confident, and physically attractive by being muscular/tall, skilled, and so on.

This takes an incredible amount of time and effort to accomplish. And even then, nothing is guaranteed.

The most important thing men look for in women is beauty, and overwhelmingly so. Now, beauty mostly comes without work and is something that is decided by our genes. Sure, makeup and a nice haircut go a long way, but our facial shape is determined by birth, basically through luck of the draw.

Men need to become competent in multiple facets of their lives to become successful

This means that a woman’s inherent value to men is much higher than a man’s is to a woman. Also, men pursue women, and not the other way around. There are indeed a few exceptions, but the exception does not prove the rule.

That’s not to say that women don’t have any other skills or positive traits than their beauty. On the contrary. But if we’re purely talking about attraction, then a woman’s value is inherently higher than that of a man.

A man who has no money, and isn’t confident will most likely get no romantic partners, while a woman who has no money and isn’t confident will still get men to pursue her.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

All men are made equal: True or false?

Black equals sign on a white background

It is true to some degree, but not entirely.

All men are indeed made equal regarding having to put in the time and effort to become competent. No man is born competent in all facets of their life, which means they have to work hard because they weren’t born with all the inherent skills to be successful, rich, famous, and so on.

But men aren’t made equal in terms of beauty, intelligence, height, and muscle mass. It is also possible that men are born into riches. Some people get to have natural advantages that others don’t. Newsflash, life isn’t fair.

Someone who is born extremely intelligent for example has a great inherent advantage over his peers who are of average, or below-average intelligence. Even so, they will still have to learn to master their craft, but they can do so much faster than the average person can due to their inherent advantage of learning quicker due to their high IQ.

Some traits are built-in, which means we get lucky or unlucky based on randomness and luck. Think of traits such as intelligence, beauty, and stature. Although we indeed get these genes from our parents, so it’s not entirely luck-based.

But you get my point. Many things will have to be developed in life because they aren’t innate. We have to become proficient and capable by learning how to master our craft, become confident, make money, and develop a lifelong learning mindset.

Are men what their mothers made them?

A mother carrying her child while the sun sets.

Men are what their mothers made them means that a man, which in this case is the son, is the result of what a mother’s education, and teaching to him is.

Children are often a “copy” of their parents. We duplicate our parent’s values, ethics, and behavior. Likewise, we also copy their prejudices, biases, and incorrect views on life because they get passed over by our parents’ teachings.

This means that our parents can have an incredible positive influence, but also an astounding negative effect on us. And there are some things that parents should avoid doing to their children.

Most folks are extremely biased and prejudiced, which they frequently project on their children, whether they want to or not. This means that the gullible, naive, and innocent children are easy prey to fall victim to their parent’s sometimes misguided advice.

It is well documented that we learn through imitation, and some of our most important teachers are our parents, the rest of our family, and our teachers. All of those people teach us invaluable things.

This means that our mothers are extremely critical and vital to our personal development. Thus, it can be said that men are what their mothers made them.

Are men and women born or made?

Illustration of a man scratching their head while holding a yellow question mark.

Some unique traits such as intelligence, stature, and muscle mass are inherent, which means we are born with them.

However, many traits can be influenced, even those we are born with such as crystallized intelligence, becoming famous, competent, and more beautiful/muscular by working out and keeping our weight in check.

So men and women are both born and made. People truly underestimate how much they can change themselves if they fully dedicate themselves to the path of self-improvement.

Are men and women born or made: Physical attractiveness

But if we take attractiveness into the equation, then men are made more so than born, while women are born more so than made.

Let me explain why.

Image of an attractive young woman holding her hair.

Women select men based on a variety of traits, while men mainly and overwhelmingly select women based on their looks.

A man is attractive to a woman if he’s competent. Competence is made instead of something we’re born with and takes a long time to create. Being capable allows us to be successful, make a lot of money, and become confident. Being physically capable due to working out allows us to increase our physical attractiveness.

A man is attracted to a woman by and large if she’s beautiful. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t other traits that we find attractive and admirable in a woman.

However, the large majority of men mainly select their romantic partners based on looks. We also like a feminine woman who’s agreeable and not combative, which is logical if we were to engage in a long-term relationship since we have to live together.

Still, that doesn’t mean that women shouldn’t improve themselves to be the best person they can be to be content in life, and to increase their attractiveness to men.

What do men are made, not born, mean?

Image of a man smiling and working at a desk.

Men are made, not born, refers to the fact that most societies agree that one becomes a valuable man through hard work and with age/time that breeds competence. One becomes a made man through continuous and rigorous self-improvement.

Of course, in the true sense, men are still born male. But this quote stands for the fact that a man’s most valuable trade good is competence. And that ability must be developed.

Competence is incredibly hard to develop and takes a large amount of effort. Almost nobody is born successful, rich, respected, or famous. All of these things come by and large due to being a capable human being.

It conveys that a made man does not have some inherent or innate ability that can’t be taught.

Of course, we are still naturally better at some things than others because we are more talented at some things, and not at others by nature. But a lot of things in life can be taught if we are willing to put in the work.


Image of a hand holding a card with the word “conclusions” written in blue.

All men are made equal in the sense that we all need to develop our competence. But men are not created equal in the sense that some are smarter, taller, stronger, faster, and more beautiful than others.

But still, men need to put in the necessary amount of time and effort to become capable in multiple areas of existence to become successful. If we don’t, we are considered a failure in life, and have no success with the opposite sex, and this will be detrimental to our lives.

Call to action

Whether you’re a man or a woman, make sure to practice continual self-improvement to make yourself the best version you can be.

Some folks will have natural advantages over you that you can’t change. But, you can choose to be the most hardworking person out there, which is a big advantage in itself.

Try to improve yourself mentally and physically each day to become the best possible version of yourself and to live the best life you can.