Why do I isolate myself from everyone?

There are multiple reasons why you might isolate yourself from everyone around you. These are the most common ones in my opinion:

1. You need to recharge your batteries

   

   Everyone needs to recharge their batteries from time to time. And for some, this requires considerable downtime. Hence, it shouldn’t immediately be reason for concern, nor should it be seen as an issue if the isolation isn’t prolonged.

   That’s especially true for introverts who regain their energy when they’re alone. Extroverts on the other hand recharge their vigor by interacting with others.

   Don’t be ashamed to take some time for yourself if you feel like you need it. But make sure not to alienate yourself from your loved ones.

2. You need time to think

   

   It’s normal that you search for a quiet place when you’re having issues, or feel like you need to ponder over some things.

   When you’re alone, you can truly think freely due to being capable of concentrating because there are no external stimuli around to distract you.

   So if you require some time to sort things out, then you’re most likely going to do so by searching out a silent spot.

3. You’re in survival mode

   If you’re in a bad place mentally, then it can be an instinct to isolate yourself from others since you’re too exhausted to interact with others or to seek out help.

   That’s not a viable long-term coping mechanism. It can even work for a short while, but I wouldn’t advise extended periods of separation to anyone because we need social interaction to feel fulfilled and useful.

4. You’re exhausted

   

   When you’re exhausted is when you probably can’t deal with others, or noisy places, and try to reduce inputs as a result. And what better way to do this than being alone?

   If you’re constantly feeling fatigued, then you need to search for the root of the concern. What you should always do is attempt to get at least 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Make sure to go to, and to get out of bed at the same time every day to establish proper sleep hygiene by your biological rhythm.

5. Needing a safe space

   We all want a safe space to wind down from time to time, especially when we feel overwhelmed by emotions, or because we’re stressed out.

   That safe haven is more than likely at home. A place that’s most familiar to us. And most of the time, we’re alone while coming home from work, when doing the chores, or relaxing.

6. Feeling unworthy of support

   

   Some folks feel so unworthy of support because they’re insecure, or feel like they’re a failure. They’re willing to go to great lengths to isolate themselves to “save themselves the shame”.

   Everyone requires and is worthy of love. And if you truly feel like you’re undeserving of assistance, then you should take the time to put your business in order so that you feel like you’re useful and someone of worth.

7. Not wanting anyone to see us at our worst

   It’s only normal that we want others to see us at our best, rather than at our worst. That’s what we do in real life, but also on social media platforms such as Facebook and Instagram.

   Yet, we’re only human. And that means that we’re not perfect, and will feel down from time to time. If we’re having some psychological issues, then we may be isolating ourselves to prevent others from seeing our concerns with their bare eyes.

8. Feeling overwhelmed

   

   Our senses can get overwhelmed. And we’re living stressful lives these days without many opportunities to truly turn our brains “off”.

   Our sympathetic nervous system is active when we’re stressed, while our parasympathetic is active when we’re relaxed. But the problem is that the majority of us get “stuck” in a stressed-out state, which means that the sympathetic nervous system is overactive since we’re stressed out most of the time. That isn’t good since it’s highly taxing on our bodies.

   Relaxing activities such as deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, gardening, and exercising can aid in resolving this and guide our bodies into their natural state of the parasympathetic nervous system once more.

9. Feeling disconnected from the rest of the world

   We all feel alienated from those around us, and from life itself occasionally. Life is weird, and this universe is something we probably will never fully understand.

   As a result, we might feel like it’s not worth talking to others about our feelings since “nobody will understand us anyway”. Still, there’s always someone willing to listen, and who thinks on the same wavelength as us. That’s why you should search, and find like-minded individuals.

10. Not knowing how to talk about your problems

    

    It’s hard to talk about our problems, particularly when that’s something that we don’t like doing, and doesn’t come naturally to us as a result.

    But it’s known that talking about what’s troubling us aids in reducing tension because we feel like some weight falls off our shoulders, and by increasing our resilience to stress. So search out the assistance of your best friends and family when something’s upsetting your mind.

11. Might have a problem holding a conversation

    Not everyone has the needed social skills to hold a decent conversation. Or perhaps it’s because they’re concentrating, or so stressed out that they can’t form coherent sentences anymore.

    When we’re aware of this uncomfortable fact, we might refrain from speaking to others as a consequence. But nobody ever improved their abilities just by doing nothing. So get out there and talk to others! You will find people who like you for who you truly are.

12. Not getting pleasure from interacting with others anymore

    You may experience absolutely no pleasure when conversing with others when you’re suffering from certain mental disorders such as depression for instance.

    If that’s the case, then the question becomes, “Why would I speak with others or get out of the house when I gain nothing constructive from it anyway?”

    And it’s a great question because a lot of what we do is motivated by what we deem to be positive occurrences, while simultaneously trying to avoid perceived negative events. 

13. Fearing judgment

    

    Despite telling ourselves and others that we should be ourselves while paying no mind to what others think of us, we can’t get around the simple fact that the opinion of others matters to us.

    Still, the only view we should value is that of those who love, and want the best for us such as our family and good friends. Not of the folks that don’t want to see us thrive.

    Everyone’s going to judge us. So the sooner you get over your fear of being evaluated, the quicker you can move on with your own life while remaining true to yourself.

14. Not wanting to disappoint those around us

    Those we respect are typically those we want to impress. We want to show our best side to the people around us, which isn’t all that surprising.

    But we may isolate ourselves when we feel as if we’re currently failing at life, even though that might not even be true. Most of our suffering takes place in our imagination, and how much value we attribute to the concern at hand. And that’s true for every one of us.

15. Not wanting to fake behavior

    

    Society regularly has certain expectations of us that we have to uphold. A lot of folks expect us to smile and act cheerful, even when feeling bad. That’s annoying when we want to be honest, and are unwilling to fake certain behaviors.

    But if we are around environments where this is the norm, then it’s likely that we will isolate ourselves to prevent having to expend more energy than needed and having to pretend.

16. Depression

    

    As someone who has experienced depression firsthand, I know all too well that it can suck the life right out of you while making you unwilling to converse with others.

    That can be for a variety of reasons ranging from experiencing no positive emotions, to feeling exhausted, guilty, useless, and having no goals to pursue anymore.

    Fortunately, depression isn’t taboo anymore. It’s treatable, and even curable in most instances. That is if you’re willing to put in the time and effort.

17. Burnout

    According to a study performed by Zippia, 89% of workers have experienced burnout within the past year.

    That’s a worrying statistic and an awfully large amount of people are undergoing troubles at their work. Something is going wrong at our jobs that makes the employees feel this type of way.

    You should try to resolve the problems that are troubling you. But if you notice that’s not in the cards, then there’s unfortunately only one option left to exercise, and that’s to leave the company for another career.

18. Anxiety disorders and phobias

    

    When we’re anxious about something, or downright fearful, then it’s likely that we’re going to avoid those situations to prevent feeling these uncomfortable sensations.

    Social anxiety and agoraphobia are two examples wherein afflicted individuals are going to avoid gatherings and are more likely to stay at home without anyone around. That’s where they feel safe, and free of anxiety-provoking stimuli.

19. Being ashamed

    It’s normal to feel ashamed from time to time. But it can prevent us from leaving the home when taken to the extremes. Those who are continuously embarrassed of themselves are more likely to distance themselves from their peers.

    But once again, this isn’t a solution. Tackling the issue head-on is your best bet to get rid of the cause entirely.

20. Afraid of social rejection

    Humans are social beings. As such, we’re acutely aware of our standing in the pecking order, or the social hierarchy, so to speak.

    That can be both good and bad depending on the circumstances. It’s beneficial since it allows us to perform better by connecting with others on a deeper level. But it can be highly detrimental because it can make us so socially anxious that we separate ourselves from the world entirely.

21. Post-traumatic stress disorder or other trauma

    

    Trauma can make us unable to function properly. When we feel so many antagonistic emotions all at once and in such a sharp manner, then we’re likely to isolate ourselves from even those we care deeply about.

    It’s important to talk with both healthcare professionals and friends to get better by processing those intense emotions.

22. Doom thinking

    Those suffering from doom thinking are probably going to experience more negative emotions than those who don’t. Yet, we’re more likely to remember the negative events than the positive ones due to the negativity bias. That means we’re probably going to rate events as being more pessimistic than they truly are.

    But it’s hard to put yourself out there when you see the worst in every situation. And alienating yourself from everyone might seem like your only way out.

23. Grieving

    

    We’re apt to seek some downtime when we’re dealing with a lot of emotional trauma because we’re grieving due to the death of a loved one for example.

    That’s because those sharp feelings can overwhelm our senses. And there’s only so much attention and energy we have at our disposal. If most of our vigor is aimed at the grieving process, then we’re probably too exhausted to deal with other people.

24. Being emotionally distressed

    Being emotionally distressed because of the death of a loved one, financial troubles, or any other troubling concern can overpower our willingness to seek out social interaction.

    But we can’t dwell on the past forever. There comes a time when we need to move on with our lives to keep our existence manageable.

25. Moving to a new location

    One of the best possible reasons for not seeing your peers for a short while is moving to a new location.

    But even better than alienating yourself is asking your friends to help you move out. This way, you’ll never lose them out of sight while having an easier time getting the job done. A win-win situation!

26. Poor relationships

    

    I’m all for cutting the toxic folks out of your life since we don’t need that kind of negativity in our existence. It’s not like they add any value anyway.

    But it’s better to tell them straight up that you don’t want any contact with them anymore rather than having to isolate yourself.

    You have the right, and even the responsibility to do what’s good for you. And if that means discontinuing certain kinships, so be it.

How to overcome social isolation?

1. Exercise

   

   Exercising not only can make us feel better, but it’s also another incentive to get out of the house. This in itself is already a win, but it’s even better when connecting with others to work out together.

   Joining a gym, or going for walks and runs with friends, is a great way to get in shape while getting some much-needed social interaction at the same time.

2. Join a community

   Joining a community by getting a gym membership, or volunteering at a charity organization can create a sense of unity while being another reason to leave the house more frequently.

   Even getting together with your coworkers for a couple of drinks can serve a purpose and can aid in winding down after a stressful workweek.

3. Volunteer to help others

   

   Volunteering to help others is fulfilling since you’re assisting those in need. And while we can’t help everyone out there, there’s always someone we can aid.

   Try supporting the people close to you, but don’t forget about the strangers you meet along the way either. Chances are, they can use a helping hand as well, seeing as everyone has their struggles.

4. Create a strong support network

   Having a strong support network can back you up during difficult times, but can also create opportunities to go out together and have some fun.

   Life’s simply better when we have someone, or multiple people we care about, to share it with. Try to seek out like-minded individuals with whom you share interests so that you have something to talk about.

5. Take action

   This might seem obvious, but just making plans, no matter how good they might be, will not teach you how to overcome social isolation. We need to put our words into practice to gain more experience and improve.

   Even when things don’t pan out as previously planned, it’s still a chance to acquire new skills and knowledge, even if just by figuring out what doesn’t work.

6. Engage in social activities

   

   Going to social events such as parties, the theater, or just grabbing a drink at the bar can be opportunities to meet new people, but also to unite with your current friends.

   Sure, not everyone needs the same amount of socializing. But it’s still vital that we talk with others to stay sane and to have a meaningful existence.

7. Practice activities that you enjoy

   Sometimes, things can be as easy as doing more things you enjoy instead of forcing you to practice activities that you dislike all the time.

   We all need to do some things we don’t like from time to time, that’s simply how life works. But if we’re constantly having to engage in actions we disfavor, then it’s only logical that we’re not going to be motivated to carry out these things.

8. Change your environment

   We require a stimulating environment to have a motivator to interact with our surroundings. If you’re constantly bored or feel like life’s too stagnant, then that’s a clear indicator that you need to change some things.

   Try putting yourself outside your comfort zone. Meet some new people, practice a new activity or sport, join a gym, learn a new skill or trait, the possibilities are endless.

9. Make a plan

   

   Making plans can “force” you to go outside because you don’t want to let your friends down, and because you feel like you have to go because you confirmed to go out together.

   Of course, that’s still no guarantee you’re going to go through with these plans, but they can be good inducements to quit isolating yourself.

10. Interact with your neighbors

    You don’t always have to go to distant places to leave the house. It can be as convenient as interacting with your neighbors by just going outside, or crossing the street.

    The fact that we’re more likely to assist those we like, and feel emotionally connected to, is a nice bonus as well!

11. Make phone calls and send emails

    Making phone calls and sending emails to our peers is an accessible way to ease into interacting with those around us.

    It’s also a convenient tool to make arrangements to go out with friends and to stay in touch with those living far away.

12. Adopt a pet

    

    Adopting a pet means you’re responsible for its well-being. Naturally, we need to go to the store to buy food for our little companion, and to the veterinary when it’s sick.

    It’s also proven that owning a pet can help reduce loneliness, and improve our mood. I can attest to this fact since my cat enriched my life.

13. Practice self-care

    Caring for yourself is important, and it’s not just limited to having decent hygiene. It also means knowing when to take a rest, that you should exercise, and when to leave the house because you’ve been lacking social interaction.

    Speaking with our peers is part of keeping ourselves in a good place mentally. And sometimes, that means you have to force yourself to leave the house to get the chance to talk with others.

14. Talk to a healthcare professional

    

    Talking to a healthcare professional about your struggles, and why you feel unable to leave the house, can help to solve the issues that are bothering you. And who knows, it can even make you look forward to speaking to others once more.

    At the very least, it can help reduce tension, and make you understand what the difficulty is, and what actions you should take to resolve them.

15. Join a support group

    Joining a support group can aid to feel understood, and can be another reason to go out.

    There’s no shame in needing the assistance of others. We’re imperfect, and life gets harsh at times. That’s when we require a good support network to pull us through in those times of need.

Who’s most at risk for social isolation?

• Older people

  

  People’s social circle typically grows smaller as they age due to a variety of different reasons such as retirement, the loss of older friends and family, and children leaving the house.

  The elderly regularly have some physical issues that prevent them from leaving the house as much as they would like, or as they could when they were younger.

• Individuals with impairments

  Life isn’t fair, and no matter how many laws are in place to prevent discrimination, those suffering from disabilities will probably experience discrimination at some point during their existence. Hence, they’re more likely to become socially isolated.

  Not only that, people with impairments can have a tough time finding available transportation adjusted to their personal needs. Especially those who are dependent on wheelchairs for their transportation. All these issues can severely hamper their capacity to interact and socialize with their peers in the flesh.

• Individuals living in distant locations

  

  Those living in distant locations such as pilots, military service members, and people who are away from home for prolonged periods have more trouble socializing with their loved ones. As a result, they can feel, and even become, split from their family and friends.

  Those who live in rural areas can have a harder time establishing a decent-sized social circle since there are fewer people around to pick from.

• People suffering from immunodeficiency

  Many individuals suffering from immunodeficiency feel like they’re limited in their capacity to experience a fulfilling social life. That’s particularly true now that we have stopped wearing masks and other health precautions in most places related to COVID-19.

  This makes it harder for them to take part in social events without putting their well-being on the line, which can prevent them from going out in public.

• Marginalized groups

  

  We tend to categorize things by putting them into groups. And this is no different concerning people. But that can make certain uncommon, or unpopular groups experience discrimination and stigma.

  In some social circles shutting them out can result in a smaller amount of social relationships since their social pool becomes smaller.

Can isolation cause insanity?

Yes, isolation can cause insanity. A research team at McGill found out that people suffer from anxiety, a distorted perception of time, and even hallucinations after just a few hours of isolation.

There have also been case studies of prisoners who have been kept in solitary confinement that suggest that a scarcity of human interaction causes cognitive impairment such as poor memory, and a decreased ability to concentrate.