Curiosity

People are curious by nature. It’s one of our main emotional drives. It’s even considered a trait that’s especially prevalent in intelligent people, they tend to ask more questions and actively search for new ideas and solutions to problems.

Thus, curiosity can be considered a consequence of evolution, since life is always changing, and we constantly have to adapt to our new environment.

It is the curiosity that drives us to look for things that are currently missing in our lives. Thus, it is only natural that we see new opportunities and things that we don’t presently own and seem appealing to us.

Desiring things we don’t own

People tend to desire the things they don’t possess.

Rather than appreciating the things we currently have, and the stability, and security they provide, we have the idea that there’s always something out there that’s better than what we presently own.

Devalue things we already have

We tend to devalue the things we already own, and tend to regard those things as trivial.

Furthermore, we only tend to see what’s in the limelight, and not what’s going on behind the scenes. Just because something seems great in public doesn’t mean that it’s worth all the trouble that goes into obtaining it.

What we see, the public image that’s being shown to the audience doesn’t depict the whole picture. It does not show the great lengths and struggles one might have gone through to obtain that result.

We like to imagine a perfect future that’s better than reality

There’s also an element of fantasy to this specific phenomenon.

We frequently paint a perfect imaginary future where our problems will disappear and life will be perfect. This imaginary fantasy is usually much better than reality truly is. This can skew the perspective we have about reality. We can attribute this to low self-esteem and confidence issues.

Just because things look better at first glance doesn’t mean that the grass truly is greener on the other side of the fence. Especially not when we know that we’ve got a tendency to glorify things.

The problem is that we tend to compare our own “behind the scenes” with other people’s “highlight reels.”

Projection

We project and attribute our feelings of unhappiness and our desires for something we don’t own onto others instead of taking accountability ourselves.

It is always someone else’s fault that they own “better” things or “more” than us, and never due to our own mistakes and inadequacies. It’s always a friend’s, our partner’s, the government’s, or the corporation’s, … fault that we’re unhappy or desiring things outside our reach.

Of course, that is not true. We need to take ownership and responsibility for our own lives and happiness if we want to see our desires met, our goals reached, and be content with our lives.

Projecting and placing our happiness on people and things instead of taking responsibility for ourselves is a big contributor to feeling that the grass seems greener on the other side of the fence.

Fear of missing out (FOMO)

Mass media platforms such as social media, television, and the radio can cause their audience to feel like they’re missing out and are lacking in pleasurable experiences.

This can generate a hunger and desire for new things we haven’t attained yet. At worst, though, it can cause self-esteem issues and feelings of insufficiency.

We like showing off our achievements

Many people are inherently selfish. Some folks, especially those suffering from low self-esteem and other psychological issues, enjoy purposely making other people feel bad by showing off their achievements to feel less miserable about themselves.

However, we frequently feel threatened when other people show off their accomplishments. This can make us feel insufficient and insecure, which can in turn make us want what other people have.

Attention bias

One of the reasons that the grass looks greener on the other side is because it is related to an attention bias.

Naturally, we have limited information available about the things we don’t have. Thus, we don’t know how it works very well. We don’t know the advantages and failings, that it entails.

We see the things we want to see. And we see life like we are, not like it is

We tend to see the things we want to see. And we see life like we are, not like it is in reality.

When we want to see that those other things that we don’t have are better than what we do possess, then we tend to think of these things as being better. Regardless if they are in reality truly better or not.

Peer pressure and social conditioning

Social conditioning and peer pressure can also be possible contributors.

Pressure from our peers, family, friends, and even from social media platforms such as television and radio, can cause us to want the things we deem worthy of chasing.

We are constantly unconsciously influenced by our surroundings. Thus, our behavior is in part shaped by what other people think and deem to be appropriate.

We are continually chasing happiness

Human beings tend to chase happiness, but I think we’re better off chasing contentment since happiness seems like a fleeting feeling of euphoria to me.

We often think that material wealth will bring us happiness. And while being poor can certainly be detrimental to our happiness, contentment, and overall mental state, having a lot of money doesn’t necessarily make us happier than an average wage would. 

Perfection

Perfectionists are constantly striving to better themselves and improve their own lives, regularly to the point of obsession.

This can leave them feeling wanting for a better life, and like what they do have at the moment is not enough, even though it might be a lot already.

And even though wanting to improve your personal life is good, perfection is not attainable.

It is also needed to learn how to be content with the things you have, even though they might not be everything your heart desires.

Escaping from your current life

Since people are creatures of habit, we have a proclivity to organize our days in a manner that’s predictable and structured.

But this organized way of living can create a sense of dullness in our daily lives. So much so that we desperately seek ways to escape our boring, monotone lives.

This can give root to the grass that seems greener on the other side of the fence phenomenon.

A habit

We are creatures of habit. A lot of what we do are organized patterns of thoughts and behavior. And we know that good habits take time to form.

Think about most people’s daily routines such as getting out of bed, washing their teeth, eating something, preparing to go to work, and so on.

Constantly thinking about what things others have, and we don’t can become a vicious, toxic cycle. A detrimental habit that we’re unaware of its existence, even though it is unconsciously negatively impacting our very own lives.