A flock of birds sitting on an electrical line.

Why birds of a feather flock together

Taken literally, birds of a feather flock together to protect and defend themselves against possible predators, since it’s easier to fend off vultures through the power of superior numbers.

Figuratively speaking, we tend to seek out and be attracted to those who have similar qualities to ourselves. Think of having the same ethics, values, likes and dislikes, and similar beliefs. This even holds true on a physical level, as beautiful people are inclined to be drawn to other good-looking individuals.

We enjoy those who share a matching mentality and tend to dislike others who have opinions that conflict with our current ideology. That’s because these differences are typically perceived as a personal attack on our character.

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Image of a man holding out his hand, indicating he's telling to stop.

How to stop being naive

Naivety means showing a general lack of real-life know-how, judgment, or wisdom due to experiencing too few life events.

As a result, unsuspecting people are the perfect victims to fall prey to those looking to misuse them for their own benefit since they don’t recognize the surrounding threats.

That’s why I compiled the following list to learn how to stop being naive, so we can protect ourselves from those who want to take advantage of us.

— Be cautious.
— Be present in the moment.
— Practice objectivity.
— Do your research.
— Engage in active listening.
— Talk less, listen more.
— Seek out novel experiences.
— Be alert.
— Learn to read others.
— Travel more.
— Meet people from different backgrounds.
— Have confidence in your abilities.
— Learn to recognize signs of dishonesty.
— Volunteer.
— Get out of your comfort zone.
— Think before acting.
— Don’t ignore your gut feeling.
— Continue to trust people, despite possible setbacks.

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Image of two women wearing similar clothes hugging while extending their outer arm.

Why like attracts like-minded people

Ever wondered why those who are positive tend to attract optimistic people, while negativity gravitates towards breeding and drawing in pessimistic folks? It’s because like attracts like-minded people.

Here’s why that’s the case.

— What you give, you receive.
— We dislike and repel different mindsets while attracting like-minded attitudes.
— We search for similar qualities in others.
— Energy attracts.

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Image of a man and a woman displaying defensive posture by crossing their arms and looking away from each other.

How to stop being defensive

The best things you can do to stop being defensive are:

— Understanding what triggers you.
— Anticipating your triggers.
— Not automatically assuming the worst.
— Not taking things personally.
— Practicing a continuous growth mindset.
— Being compassionate.
— Practicing active listening.
— Setting boundaries.
— Asking how you can aid.
— Taking responsibility.
— Seeking out clarifications.
— Fixing the concerns.
— Remind yourself of your values.
— Seeing criticism as a chance to grow.
— Not starting criticizing back out of pettiness.
— Remaining calm.
— Not interrupting others.
— Accepting other people’s perspectives.
— Knowing your limits.

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20 Signs you’re complaining too much

These are the 20 most common signs that you’re complaining too much:

— You’re constantly complaining.
— People are pointing out that you complain a lot.
— You’re venting without finding, or even trying to find solutions.
— You ruminate a lot.
— People avoid you.
— You always see the glass as half empty.
— You’re typically in a negative mood.
— You have a negative outlook on life.
— You claim that you’re simply being realistic.
— You’re irritable after venting.
— You spend a lot of time with other complainers.
— You surround yourself with negative people.
— You’re too hard on yourself.
— Everything has to be perfect, it’s never good enough.
— You feel hopeless and helpless.
— You tend to dwell on what happened in the past.
— You think of problems instead of solutions.
— You compare yourself to others too much.
— You don’t handle compliments well.
— You think everyone’s out to get you.

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The quote, “life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” By George Bernard Shaw.

Why life is about creating yourself instead of finding yourself

Life is about creating yourself instead of finding yourself for a couple of main reasons:

— We’re born imperfect.
— Not all our value is predetermined by birth.
— Life is difficult, and we have to develop ourselves.
— We have to learn many lessons.
— Failures and mistakes are required to get better.

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The quote, “if there is no struggle there is no progress” written on a tombstone. Quote by Frederick Douglas.

Why you need to struggle if you want to progress

If there is no struggle, there is no progress means that difficulties and challenging times are necessary if we wish to develop ourselves because they motivate, and force us to improve.

That’s because hardships are uncomfortable and anxiety-provoking. These are sensations that we wish to avoid by actively bettering ourselves to the point where we can deal with these situations more effectively.

Here’s why there is no progress if there is no struggle:

— Struggle means we have to progress to deal with the situation.
— Provides ample opportunities to learn.
— We learn more from difficult circumstances than easy times.
— We gain valuable new insights.
— Struggle allows us to figure out what doesn’t work.
— We have to think critically and self-reflect to solve the issue.

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Image of fortune-telling tarot cards.

Why we control our own fate in life

I believe that we control our fate and destiny. Up until a certain point, that is.

While I do think that we can influence a lot more in our lives than most of us realize, all of us are still restricted by the natural limitations placed upon us from birth by our genes.

For instance, someone with an average IQ is unlikely to become a Nobel Prize winner, just like someone very short will probably never play at the highest level of basketball.

Still, that doesn’t mean that the average Joe can’t do a lot of good in the world while improving their knowledge, nor that the shorter people can’t become proficient at basketball by honing their skills.

It simply means that a portion of our existence is predetermined by factors we can’t control. Not to mention that chance plays a role as well, in the form of fortune and bad luck.

But we often exaggerate the extent to which these things influence our future. We rarely talk about what we can do to enhance our existence, and to better ourselves.

Just because there are some components we can’t manipulate doesn’t mean that we can’t control or steer the outcome.

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Image of stepping stones leading toward a bed.

Why failure is the stepping stone to success

Most people view failure as something they can’t possibly live down, and as something so negative that they should avoid it at all cost.

Yet, failure is the stepping stone to success since it motivates us to learn new things, allows us to figure out what doesn’t work, and because it teaches us to evolve to deal with these difficulties.

Here’s why:

— Motivates us to learn.
— By figuring out what doesn’t work.
— Develops essential skills such as discipline, perseverance, and working hard.
— It’s a natural part of life.
— It takes pressure to build a diamond.

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The sentence, “Depression and Self-Compassion: Cultivating Kindness and Understanding” written in black letters in front of a woman with a pink shirt who's crossing her hands.
Guest posts

Depression and Self-Compassion: Cultivating Kindness and Understanding

In today’s fast-paced world, the shadow of depression looms larger than ever, affecting millions of lives globally. This silent battle, often hidden behind smiles, calls for a deeper understanding and a powerful ally: self-compassion.

As we journey through this article, we’ll uncover the profound relationship between depression and self-compassion, unveiling the transformative potential of self-kindness and understanding.

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